Good Curtains Make Good Neighbors

April 12, 2012

in Blame The Sudafed, I Learn the Lessons So You Don't Have To

When you live Down South, the mere sighting of a few errant flurries drifting downwards is enough to spark a panic. Schools shut down. Businesses close. The city becomes a ghost town, its streets deserted save for a few gently tumbling flakes of snow just begging you to stick out your tongue to catch them. Anyone with any sense is hunkered down in their McMansion, their Snuggies tucked in tight around them, shotgun at the ready for the hordes of snowmen about to beat down the doors looking for more milk, bread, and toilet paper.

But up here in Maine? They do things a tad…different.

Sure, the schools still have their snow days. But not until there’s Actual snow on the ground. And we’re not talking a dusting here. We’re talking enough to build a life-sized snowman and all his little snowchildren. If you can make a decent snow angel without fear of a cave in before you manage to get up again? Well you can just put your big-girl panties on and go shovel out your car to move it before the snow plow comes by.

Which brings me to our last big snow. Specifically, the morning after, when my neighbor came over to tell me that my car was about to get plowed under towed. Which was awefully sweet and neighborly of her. And would have been a wonderful moment to solidify a budding friendship if ever there was one. Had I answered the door.

Unfortunately for me, I was busy eating bon bons and catching up on my sitcoms pumping breast milk for my starving daughter, and failed to see her come to the door from my prime spot on the couch. You know, the one in front of the bay window so conveniently placed next to the front door. Right behind my opaque computer screen.

So when the doorbell rang, naturally, I assumed it was the UPS man here for his daily/monthly Amazon drop-off. And remained happily ensconsed in my butt rut. Sure, it was odd that he rang a second time. But perhaps it was just a slip of the finger. Or his attempt at taking my obsessive relationship with free two-day shipping as an indication that I’d like to see more of him.

Except then he rang a third time.

Which is when I looked up.

And did, indeed, see the UPS man. On his way UP to my front door. Passing my neighbor. On her way back. Which is when, naturally, she just happened to glance up at the window while passing on her message to the UPS man. The bay window. Next to the front door. Where I was sitting. Busily ignoring the doorbell.


Fast forward a few awkward weeks, long past the time when I could have dropped off some fresh-baked cookies with an explanation and an apology for ignoring her in favor of Finn & Puck, and it’s safe to say we won’t be invited to her grandson’s daughter’s bat mitsvah.

But, I wondered, had I completely burned that bridge? Sure, she wouldn’t be warning me of an impending tow, but would she, say, call the fire department in a pinch?

I decided to find out. And by decided to find out, I mean I decided to cook dinner.


Lesson’s learned:
One should never, ever grill indoors. Unless one enjoys smelling like a grill.
My nosy neighbor? Will NOT be calling the fire department should she see smoke billowing out our front door.
And neither will any of my other neighbors.


Tiffany April 14, 2012 at 7:11 am

Bwahaha! I thought for sure the story was going to turn in that everyone got a good full frontal while you were pumping. Funny stuff! Glad I stopped in!

Bridget @ Le. Rheims April 12, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Ooh, that’s rough. I tend to ignore my bell too, b/c living on the first floor of a walk up apartment building, and being a stay at home mom, people use it whenever they’ve forgotten they’re keys. It doesn’t help that they can usually hear me, uh, talking quite loudly at my kids as they stand outside, waiting to be let in. These are the same people whose names I don’t know, btw, after living here for four years. Keep trying. Maybe if you add in some odd screaming with the smoke she’ll cave and try to save your life :) Stopping in from Mama Kat’s

Morgan April 12, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oops … hope you have an opportunity to at least be friendly-ish. :)

Visiting from Mama Kat’s :)

Liz April 12, 2012 at 8:53 am

Your post made me laugh! There have been so many days I am terrified of being seen pumping by someone coming up to the window, but man, there are only so many good places to pump!

Also, I had a curtain/neighbor experience yesterday in our new house. The new kitchen has a sink window that overlooks the living area in the house next to us (they are weirdly situated on a corner). When I started the dishes, their blinds were open. When I looked up halfway through, they had closed them! I guess they don’t like the prospect of me spying on them ­čśë

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