50 Shades of Scarlet

June 28, 2012

in Blame The Sudafed

So, I’ve finally jumped on the Fifty Shades of Grey bandwagon.

Which means it’s probably already heading the in-crowd’s list of things so last season.

That’s not to say I didn’t try to jump on sooner. In fact, I originally suggested it as a possible read for my monthly book club months ago.

It’s not that kind of a book club. Although it’s not your ordinary book club either.

So instead I got sucked into such thrilling reads as “Parenting with Love & Logic” and ” More Hours In My Day” and “Bon Appetit.”

Which was probably a good thing, considering how much time I’ve spent visiting other people’s homes lately. I’m sorry, but even when hiding behind the anonymity of my Kindle, I’m not sure I could come up with a book title quickly enough to explain why my ears are such a brilliant shade of scarlet when my grandmother asks me what I’m reading.

Sure Bon Appetit makes my palms twitchy, but more in a “how long till I can pull that hot, buttered crossant out of the oven” way.

And yes, Parenting with Love & Logic does cover spanking. But only to discourage it. In any circumstance.

So while I could relate to the dozens of 5oShades references bombarding my pinterest boards every day, I don’t think it was exactly in the way they were intended. Much like the thinsporation posts. Sure, I know they’re meant to inspire me to diet. But really, all they make me want to do is go eat everything in the fridge so it doesn’t go to waste, because obviously there are people starving, and not just in Africa anymore.

But, much like all those pins of how to make the perfect cinnamon rolls, they eventually wore me down.

I got curious.

Who was this Christian Grey?

Why on earth wasn’t I supposed to bite my lip around him?

And what, exactly, was up with that tie??

So I ordered the sample.

Just a few pages.

And then a few more.

And then, somewhere around page 99, the Big Man asks the question he usually asks when I’m sitting on the couch reading.

“Whatchya Up To?”

At which point, I suddenly realized that it was time to do the dishes.

And to think I suggested it as a book club read. I can’t even read it in front of anyone. Let alone discuss it with them.

Needless to say, it will probably not be in the next set of books I pass on to my aunt/grandmother/barely legal cousins/goodwill.



Krystyn July 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

It took me a while to tell the husband I was reading it. Then, he said he wanted to read it so he knew what I was reading. Um…no, honey, it’s not that good!

PS Let me know if you want the rest of the books if you don’t have them:)

NSC June 29, 2012 at 9:01 am

I too, have not yet started reading…I’m waiting for a friend to finish so I can borrow it.

Although, I’m almost wondering if I should skip it, since I’ve heard that everyone is hugely disappointed in their own “alone time” with their significant other after.

Jess @ Bringing Up Baby June 28, 2012 at 8:23 am

I’m so disappointed in you. How dare you read such drivel after I explicitly told you how terrible it is! How could you let me down like this?

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