A Denim Affair

September 26, 2011

in After The Honeymoon, Cheap Expectations, OldSchool

I think the Big Man is having an affair.

It’s the only explanation I can come up with for what just happened.

He’s having an affair and is trying to make up for it.

Why else, when asked what he wants to do today, would he reply:

Look for a new pair of jeans.

NEW JEANS.

THE BIG MAN WANTS NEW JEANS.

I TOLD YOU HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR!

For those of you new to the Domesticated household, the Big Man hasn’t bought a new pair of jeans since I’ve known him.  And I’ve known him 9years, 10months, 1week, and 2days.  Give or take a few hours.

In fact, he hasn’t bought a new pair of jeans since 8th Grade.  Which means?  He’s been wearing the same pair of jeans for over half his life.  In other words, it has taken him 15Years to make the decision to buy new jeans.

So what, finally, prompted this life-altering decision?  Was it my influence?  A decade of gentle comments on the brilliance of the pure white denim clinging to his thighs?  The oh-so-subtle praise centering on how he has managed to achieve the ultimate worn-in look at a fraction of the price Abercrombie & Fitch offer it for?  Or perhaps he finally found one of my semi-desperate pleas to Stacey & Clinton to come hold a denim bonfire in our front yard?

Well, they’re a bit faded.  And when I put them on this morning, I noticed that the hole in them was bigger than it was when I put them on last year.

THE HOLE IN THEM WAS BIGGER THAN IT WAS LAST YEAR.

Not that there was suddenly, finally, a hole in them.

But that it was BIGGER than it was LAST year.

Just so you know?  He isn’t talking about a hole in the knee.

Although, in his defense, You can’t actually see through the hole.  Yet.

Which means, y’all, we may be seeing these jeans in rotation for another 1.5 decades.

Unless the Little Man spontaneously decides to make an audition tape for Project Runway…

 

 

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What’s hiding in the back of your closet??

{ 5 comments }

Marcie November 1, 2011 at 9:58 pm

LOL I love the “hole is bigger than last year”!!! Goodness gracious, get the man some new jeans!

By Word of Mouth Musings September 27, 2011 at 11:12 am

Mine likes to hold onto his clothes forever – he is happy for me to fill his closet – but he never throws anything out. EVAH!

Domesticated Gal September 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

What is with guy’s aversion to GoodWill? They seem convinced that the minute you get rid of anything, they’ll have a sudden and immediate need for it – despite having forgotten they owned it to begin with!

MommaKiss September 27, 2011 at 11:03 am

I’m pretty sure anyone who can wear the same jeans since 15 has to be a guy, right? Women change too much 😛

Domesticated Gal September 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm

So true! Although, to be fair, 15yrs ago I was wearing butterfly embroidered jeans…in a size 5. There’s no way those would be happening on me right now. Even if I hadn’t just had 2 kids!

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