An Optimist’s Realistic Bucket List

I’ve been inspired to write a bucket list. I’m not sure if it’s because I often feel most at home in the retirement crowd, or because there are some pretty awesome bloggers out there with bucket lists of their own. And I’m nothing if not a follower. Except when I’m a leader. But the bandwagon’s already left the station on that one, so lets just call me a Lemming of the Day and move on, yes?

So this is my bucket list. The list of things I’d like to do before I die. Yes, I realize most other 29yr olds are making lists of things to do before they turn 30. But I’m an optimist. And a realist. So this is my list of things to do before I die, preferably of old age sitting in a nursing home next to Maggy, reminiscing about the good old days when my two-year old son listened to me, did his chores, and ate his vegetables without ever uttering anything other than the most well-articulated “Thank You, Mama Dear” you’ve ever heard.

I said I’d accomplish it before I die. Not before I become senile.

1. Run a 5k. Actually run it. Start to finish. Without dying.
2. Learn to swim. It’s like running. But in water.
3. Make something on Pinterest. Like it actually looks on pinterest.
4. Learn to speak Spanish. They say its a passing fad. But I’d at least like to know what my children’s toys are saying to them.
5. Organize my photo albums. Because you can only post so many pictures of your children on facebook before your friends block you from their newsfeed.
6. Eat at a restaurant I’ve read about in Bon Appetit. Someplace where they don’t have a kid’s menu. Or booster seats. Or coupons.
7. Write an actual column for an actual publication. 
8. Bake my own bread. In a bread machine. Old School, yo.
9. Plant a vegetable garden. I’d say “grow”…but I’m trying to keep this bucket list realistic.
10. Learn to can. So I can save all those vegetables I grow. And then I’ll put them in the pantry, all lined up, and force unsuspecting Mormon missionaries to come in and gaze upon the fruits of my labor.
11. Eat without consequence. I think I have to be breastfeeding again for this one.
12. Become a wet nurse.
13. Finish my children’s baby books. Before they turn one 18.
14. Attend BlogHer. On my own. In a big city. Childless. I swear I’ll even go to a session or two.
15. Run a 10k.
16. Die in my own bed, safe in the knowledge that I just finished my first 10k.
17. Take the day off.