And by 1 a week…I meant 1 a month…

October 5, 2009

in Blame The Sudafed, Running In Place

“So hun, I know you secretly read my blog, how was the last post?”

“Eh, it was about hair. Whatever. But I found the post before that HILARIOUS”

“Which one was that?”

“The one where you promised to blog every week…”

So, yeah. About that.

Honestly? You really don’t want me posting once a week. At least not right now. Its much harder to fool people into thinking I’m witty when the only thing I have to comment on is how close my belly button has gotten to becoming an outie today. Sure, I could go the pop-culture route and add my own brand of snarky to the rampant commentary on “Jon & Kate plus/minus 8” – but that would violate my ban on them. And possibly force me to actually start watching the show (again).

Instead, I’m sticking to posting only when I actually have something to talk about. Or at least think I do. The good news? As soon as I’ve fooled myself into thinking I’ve got a handle on the crazy that comes with being pregnant, I’ll post a users-guide for all of you dealing with pregnant woman. That you will find hilarious. And adore me for. Because I said so. Or the crazy pregnant woman will come stand on your doorstep and laugh hysterically while sobbing because some innocuous well-intentioned comment was filtered through my hormones and translated to “GOD YOU ARE FAT” in my head.

In the meantime, here are some updates to tide you over:

  • I did it! I cheated on my hairdresser – and it was FANTASTIC. The fact that I didn’t even make an appointment, just walked into the salon and asked the woman at the front desk to cut my hair proves that this was long overdue. Of course, it also helps that she happened to actually be a stylist. But that’s a minor detail. The important thing is my hair once again has LAYERS, and SHAPE, and BOUNCE. And…wait for it…SIDE BANGS! Of course, those will have to go by December when my life will be taken over by a bouncing baby boy and I am no longer allowed private time with a hairdryer and straightening iron. But, for now, I am content. As long as I don’t accidentally run into my old stylist at the supermarket. Somehow, I don’t think she’ll believe me if I claim it was all just a “quick, home trim.”
  • We are back to Pilate’s. Apparently having a dodge-ball sized kid lodged in your midsection is no longer an excuse to be a lazy bum. So now I’m finally opening up the “Pilate’s for PreggosDVD and attempting to follow suit. Or at least view it. The girls on the cover look like the women from my old Pilate’s video with baskets strapped to their (still) flexible and slender torsos. But I’m going to ignore the fact that my OB has told me I have no torso, and attempt to flex it…
  • This is still not a mommy blog. I refuse to pander to Huggies and write glowing reviews just because they send me their products (although Fuzzi Buns…I ABSOLUTELY would write a glowing review should you wish to send me free diapers..because my husband is cheap and says cloth diapers are cheaper in the long-run…and I’m crazy and agreed with him…but they are still freakin‘ expensive to begin with!).
  • That does not, however, mean that you aren’t going to hear your fair share of preggo stories. If ya hadn’t noticed by now, its kinda seems to be a big part of my life at the moment. But you try not associating it with everything in your life when you can’t see your toes. At least its full of baby. Not beer. Sadly….
  • I still do not run.

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