And Then I Threw My Kids a Rave

November 7, 2011

in Blame The Sudafed, I Learn the Lessons So You Don't Have To, Mommy-ville Detour

Daylight. Savings. Time.

Those three words?  Are enough to strike fear in the heart of every mother out there.  If the next presidential candidate were to run on a platform that consisted of drowning kittens, increasing pay for mimes, and eliminating daylight savings time – he would win the mom vote.  Hands down.

Its not just that it sneaks up on you.  You’re just going about your business, being consistently 5minutes late on time to things, and resting peacefully knowing that when the alarm goes off in the morning, it will be 7am for Everyone.  And then BAM.  TIME. CHANGE.  Suddenly your’re an hour and 5minutes late.  Or 55minutes early.  And everyone’s looking at you funny.  Or not at all.

And its not even because you have to remember if its Spring Forward/Fall Back…or Spring Back/Fall Forward.  Although, regardless of which one you think is correct – it’s ALWAYS going to be the opposite.  And good luck Googling it.  Do you trust the internet not to mess with you?  Really?

Yes?  Hmm…maybe its just me that has that neurosis…

No.  Every mother on Twitter hates DST.  Some of us are probably anarchists.  But mostly, its because we have children.  And those children?  Have a schedule.

And life without that schedule is like a GIANT Fail Whale.

Last year was the Little Man’s first Fall DST.  It was a DISASTER.  I think.  I’ve pretty much blocked it from my memory.  Which means it must have been horrific.

This year?  Was the Little Miss’s first DST.  Which was perfect timing.  Since I just got her on a schedule.  LAST WEEK.  Had I known that DST was coming, I might have waited.  But its not like they schedule it or anything.  So when Saturday morning rolled around and Twitter told me that it was happening this weekend?  I may or may not have taught my toddler a few new, choice words.

Normally, I’d have turned to the Big Man for help.  I’m sure we’d have created some elaborate plot to overthrow the government by 1:59am and saved the world from DST.  Except he just happened to be out of town this weekend.  Totally a coincidence.  Or so he claims.

So I was on my own.  With two children under the age of two who cling to their schedules tighter than a chimp and his banana.

Naturally, I did what anyone would do.

I threw my children a rave.

Broke out the Halloween candy and caffeinated tea, put my awesomely bad collection of 90’s pop on repeat, and danced until the clock said 7pm.  Again.

It was a smashing success.  Sure, I may have been the only one actually dancing.  And the Little Miss may have been huddled in the corner of her pack n’ play, clutching the plush doggy the Little Man threw her as a life line.  And the Little Man may have been a bit too busy chowing down on some marshmallow treats and pitching toys at his sister to interrupt Momma’s mental break down.  Or dance.  But Whatev.  They?  Were AWAKE.  Which was the entire point.  Mostly.

And come 7am this morning?  They were awake again.  But not before.


NSC November 7, 2011 at 1:12 pm

That is a great idea…putting sugar highs and 90’s dance music together. I could adjust to anything if I had those to help me along the way. I could also adjust well to smoking a crapload of pot and listening to Pink Floyd…but the kidlets are a little young for that eh?

Domesticated Gal November 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Well that, and they already double our food bill on their own – I don’t want to know what kind of damage they could do with the Munchies…

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