Back to the Schweaty Pits of Pilates

March 17, 2009

in Running In Place

So in my last post, I did forget to mention my all-time favorite moment of the cruise. Its day 4, and for dinner I’ve decided to wear THE Shirt. The one that makes my boobs look perky (lets be honest, its hard to make them look bigger – but perky is ALWAYS good when you don’t have silicone holding up the pecs) and my waist smaller (again – ALWAYS a good thing). Of course, I being the frugal packer have made sure that in addition to the 5 dresses, 3 skirts, 4 shorts, and 2 pairs of jeans that I packed for a 7 day cruise, I have also included a hot pair of black pants.

Confident in the rest of my outfit, I step into them, scootch them up over my bum, and suck in the belly in preparation for buttoning/zipping. Suck it in a little more. Pop out a vertebrae trying to suck it into my backbone. Jump up and down, trying to jiggle the jiggly someplace other than my waistline. And then look up to see my darling husband watching as I can’t quite manage to make the button meet the button hole. As he manages to slip his belt one notch tighter on his pants. Wasn’t this why we got the balcony room? So he could be watching the ocean slip by while I tried to slip into a pair of Spanx?

Needless to say, we are back on the exercise routine. Almost mastered Pilates for beginners. At the very least, I now have more breath to curse the unnaturally long-limbed instructor between poses. Stretching your body may make it “long and lean, like a dancers” – but it will never allow me to lay on my back and hold my ankle straight up in the air. Of course, she doesn’t have the issue of having to move the boobs to one side or the other for lunge stretches, so I’ll have to show some compassion for her limbs “bending without breaking, like a tree.”

In the meantime, who needs to be able to put their ankles behind their heads when I can make these: Paula Dean Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Icing??

{ 1 comment }

Maggy Jeanette April 10, 2009 at 8:08 pm

I was going to leave a comment requesting you to blog again, but then I realized maybe I could just CALL YOU AND WE COULD CATCH UP WITH OUR VOICES. So I won’t. Miss you!

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