How to be a Housewife

Domestication. It’s a Process. A very long process.

For our trip North this summer, I packed with a purpose. This was our one vacation this year – and our first as a family in 3 years. I was going to make it count. Sand buckets and water guns for the kids, a kindle and a bottle of wine for me, the FIFTH in the Game of Thrones Series and a bottle of wine for the Big Man (yes, his own – this was a vacation after all!). Three duffle bags, a cooler, two backpacks, and a few too many totes later and we were all set. Just before we re-loaded everyone into the car after their second-to-last potty break, I grabbed the freshly-charged battery for the camera, locked and loaded, and declared us ready to go. After all, it’s not a family vacation if you don’t have the pictures to prove it.

And for 3 solid days, I proved every single kodak moment of it…

Picnic on the Turnpike

The Picnic on the Jersey Turnpike

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The Lake

Playing in the road

The Kids Moments Away From Being Run Over

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The Family Cabin

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The Other Side of the Lake.

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The Kids Drowning in the Lake

Kids Feeding Kids

The Kids Feeding Kids.

I was on a mission to make up for my lackadaisical documentation of the last 18 months of their lives by documenting each and every moment of our week – flip book style.

And then it struck me. We’re half way through the year. Past any and all birthdays/milestones/foreseen growth spurts/momentous occasions worth of mention in the annual Christmas Photo Card. (The Little Man’s December birthday gets gypped again….)

So why not ask our friends to snap a family portrait on our epic family vacation? It was, after all, a rare moment – we were all awake, fed, relatively clean, and photo-shop ready! Throw the goats a carrot or two more, and we’d be picture perfect, you might say.

Quickly I gasped out my request, gave a perfunctory tutorial on how to work the camera (push the button down, here it click twice, then push it down harder…harder!)…and added that the battery light was on, so it was probably about to die, but she could probably still get a shot or two in before it decided it really meant it….

I bribed the Littles with promises of a full year w/o posed pictures if they would just look at the camera for 2 seconds…at the same time…while smiling. Crossed my fingers, and waited for the snap of the camera, vowing that whatever was the last picture on there would be The One.

When I got home that night and uploaded the last photo from my now dead camera, I realized I was right about one thing:

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Picture. Perfect!

Merry Christmas Ya’ll…

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