Dear Virginia:

September 11, 2012

in How to be a Housewife

Brace yourself. I’m about to tell you something that I don’t think anyone else has the courage to tell you. And no, it’s not about that booger that’s hanging by a nose hair in your upper left nostril.

Are you ready?

Here. Have a kleenex.


Here it is.


You know, the month when leaves begin to change color. Starbucks brings back it’s famous Pumpkin Lattes. And the slightest nip in the air means that you can stop shaving and start pairing your favorite T with a fabulous pair of only slightly-stretched-out jeans. Or at least stop sweating through your entire sleeveless/legless outfit the second you step out your front door.

And yes, I realize that the first official day of fall is not until September 22nd. So yes, technically you still have 12more days to send me running to the nearest Krispy Kreme in search of a Hot Light and an air conditioner.

But unless you’re planning to flip the auto settings on your thermostat at 12:01pm on 9/22/12? You might want to consider, I don’t know, easing down from the 80s to, say, the mid 70s?

Because these 85degree days? Are putting a crimp in my ready-for-fall wardrobe. And it’s hard to be cute when you’re sweating like a pig in a poke.

Not that I know what a pig in a poke is.

But you get the general gist of what I’m saying, yes?

What I’m saying is I have a pair of boots that make even my fat jeans look cute.

But not in 80degree weather.

Please be advised: The dog days of summer are over.


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