Excess Baggage

March 29, 2010

in Cheap Expectations

So I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a pickle.  A pretty pickle, if you will.  (Yes, this is where all the bad puns come home to) 

You see, there is this purse:

I think its a pretty pretty purse.  Sure, its no Coach bag – but until I win the lottery (and I mean the BIG one – the mega-millions Jackpot that makes headlines – not just some paltry 10mil. one), Coach will remain a destination vacation.

This purse, this is a special purse.  Not so big that I could carry my kid in it, but big enough to carry an emergency diaper change kit and all of my essentials (lipgloss, wallet, lipstick, car keys, lipstain, sunglasses, lipbalm, cell phone, and of course chapstick).

But DG, don’t you already have a Diaper Bag??

Why DG, that looks like such a Cute Diaper Bag!

It does, doesn’t it!  Except this one is brand new.  From a store.  Whereas mine is, naturally, from someone’s garage.  Bought for a dollar.  Just one.  And has a few mysterious stains on the outside that I did not put there.

Not that it is all that bad.  But it is obviously a Diaper Bag.  Not to mention Hugely bulky.  And, well, it doesn’t go with a THING I wear!  We ALL know that that’s really the main point behind any bag – that’s why they call it an accessory.

And ever since it showed up at Target in January, I have been coveting my bag.  (Yes, it is My bag.  Regardless of whether I ever actually end up owning it or not.)  At least every other week I find some excuse to strap on the kid and walk over to Target to visit it.  Just to make sure it’s still there, and that the Target people are treating it nicely.

Which brings me to this weekend.  When, once again, I began thinking out-loud.  And made the proposal to the Big man that he buy it for me for my birthday.

Brilliant!

Except my birthday isn’t until June.

No problem, he said, just go buy it now.  Use it until then, wrap it up so you can open it on your Birthday, and then keep using it!

Oh how excited I got!  What a Fantastic idea!  I get to bring home my bag.  Guilt Free!  And then I did a little more thinking…

You see, in addition to being cheap, my husband is also a bit…slow…in the gift-giving department.  His proudest moment for giving Christmas gifts was when we all opened up our packages to find Spam snack-packs (w/crackers!), Huntz ketchup (the year Kerry was running for President), and past-date canned Salmon!  And don’t think this was because he forgot about it and ran out to the 7-Eleven at the last minute.  Noooo, these were items he carefully searched out and waited until even Big Lots had discounted them.  Just because he could.

So me buying my own birthday present?  Sets a Very dangerous precedent.  As in, I will never ever again receive a gift from him I haven’t already purchased for myself, wrapped myself, and remembered to give myself.

Granted, that does ensure a minimum amount of future Spam snack-packs in my future.

And it is Such a pretty pretty purse…

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