Give the Search Team a Donut…Just One

August 8, 2009

in How to be a Housewife

You can call off the dogs – I haven’t disappeared into a hole in the side of some mountain, mostly because there are NO mountains here. Of course, its still not flat enough to have prairie dog holes either. Perhaps a corn field might do?

Either way, I’ve emerged from my self-imposed blog exile and wandered back into the natural habitat of the suburban housewife. That’s right, I am now officially (re)unemployed. Since I spent every summer during college working my delightful tush off to be able to afford to go back to school in the fall, it seems only fitting that I’ve now begun the trend of … taking a break … from employment each summer.

Granted, I didn’t get off scott-free this year. The Big Man and I decided “we” needed a project. As with most of “our” projects, this one also began as a joint venture and quickly devolved into “my” project. Not that I can blame him. Well, I can (and do), but honestly – the last pregnant man was really just an unfinished transsexual; and while I am fairly open-minded when it comes to what other people decide to do with their sexuality, once it involves me I prefer to be the only one with a uterus.

Which explains at least 3 of my months off. I did write some FANTASTIC blog postings. Unfortunately, they were all on the back of pre-use toilet paper as I made friends with the toilet and prayed to/cursed the goddess of fertility. And while she did nothing to alleviate the nausea before week THIRTEEN, I did manage to lose 15 pounds in the process.

So now that I’ve gained half of that back trying to satisfy my cravings (pistachios and…well, FOOD) the point of this little diatribe is to make you a deal. Until there is once again a vacancy in my uterus, I will post at least once a week for your masochistic reading pleasure. You? Get to keep reading – and beat me over the head should this start to trend towards the omnipresent “Mommy Blog.”


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