Job Seeker’s Guide to Hunting & Fishing

March 21, 2010

in How to be a Housewife

Along with the rest of America, I’ve been searching for a job for over a year now.  (That’s right, I’m in the COOL crowd…the one at the Unemployment Office).  And I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of job seekers.  You’ve got the Hunters, and the Fishers.

The hunters are those right out of college.  Or in PR and sales.  Strategic, direct, and forceful.  Stalking one potentiality after another, tracking each one back to its source and lying in wait at its back door.  Hoping that if they manage to wait downwind long enough, the perfect job will walk right into their sites.  Their job search involves putting out just the right bait in just the right place at just the right time, followed by trying their hardest to blend in long enough to lure the job out into the open so they can snare it before anyone else does.

Or so I assume.  Not that I’ve ever gone deer hunting.  Or bear, rabbit, or man hunting.  I’m just not a hunting kind of girl.  It sounds like something that is potentially sweaty.  Not to mention bloody and waaay more work than just going to the grocery store to pick up a package of ground beef.

Which may explain why, until now, I’ve also been rather unsuccessful in hunting down a job.  While not as sweaty as laying very very still outdoors in the blazing hot sun, it can get very messy very quickly.  And those papercuts are lethal.

I’m more of a fisher.  Go out in the middle of a cool body of water with a cooler full of semi-adult beverages, sandwiches and cookies, a good book, and a pole.  Drop your hook in the water, and wait to see who’s interested.  The fish know you’re there.  You know you’re there.  So does anyone looking out their window.  You can dress up your hook with some pretty lures (hot pink feathers, beads, and some glitter – apparently fish are attracted to an alternative lifestyle) or just go basic with a can of worms you made your little brother dig up early that morning.  Eventually, the hook will catch on something.  The anchor.  Some seaweed.  The other side of the boat.  Whatever.  At least you can be productive and well-fed while you wait.

So after months of floating my resume (it may be a bad pun, but its funny, dammit!) I finally got the attention of quite a big fish.  Or at least that’s what it feels like.  Not that I’ve actually landed it yet, mind you, but its the first actual response to the dozens on top of dozens of resumes I’ve sent out since last summer.  Like a five year old on her first fishing trip, I’m just excited to feel the nibble on my line.  The verification that something IS actually out there and potentially catchable.  And that they like my lure!  My pretty pretty resume!

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