Judgement Day **UPDATED**

March 9, 2011

in Blame The Sudafed, How to be a Housewife, Mommy-ville Detour

It is time.

I’ve put off this moment for months.

But today?  It is time.

Time for the Little Man to have his first commercial haircut.  I mean, really, his hair is so long that its forming dreadlocks in the back.  Regardless of the fact that I wash it every day.  (Which kills my obviously uninformed theory that people with dreadlocks never wash their hair.  Or shower.  Or live in anything other than tree-houses.)  If he were in the army, he’d be court-martialed for having hair this long.

And while, sure, long hair is delicious if you are, say a pre-rat-tail Tom Brady, or a toddler whose hair rivals that of Shirley Temple in its abundance of natural curls, when it is more reminiscent of the love child of Shaggy and Bob Marley?  It is time.

I’ve reviewed my options:
1.  Break out the curling iron and the neosporin.
2.  Start calling the Little Man “Bob” and hand him a Rasta hat.
3.  Pay $20 for someone else to take care of the issue.

And while I’ve already got the supplies to pull off option #1, the Big Man had a Vietnam-esque flashback of being dressed in a tu-tu as a young boy at the mere suggestion.

So, it is time.

At 3pm, to be exact.

Which has put me in a bit of a panic, to be honest.

Not because he’s getting a hair cut – this won’t actually be his first.  Grandma was awarded that honor 8 months ago.  So we’ve had the First hair cut.  The First nick.  The First “He’s not a baby anymore!” moment.  (which, incidentally, may explain why I’m pregnant.  again.)

Not because I’m unprepared to face this alone.  I’ve packed peach gummy rings, Toy Story, his favorite book, and, as an act of last resort, his pacifier.  So I can effectively distract every sense that boy has from what is going on above his ears for at least 10 minutes.

No,  the reason I’m panicking?  Is because the only person I could find to cut his hair?  Is MY stylist.

The woman who cuts MY hair.

The hair I will have to wear when I take the Little Man for his own hair cut in 3 hours.

The hair that is officially a month over-due for a cut and color.

The hair I haven’t washed since Saturday.

This?? Is worse than a visit to the dentist.


Just returned from The Haircut, where the Little Man contentedly ate his weight in peach gummy rings – at least half of which were covered in hair.  Most of it was his own.  I think.

And despite my stealth in making the most of a 5 minute shower, bobby pins, and enough hair spray to sponsor the Miss Universe pageant, my stylist politely suggested I make my own hair appointment before we left.

And she may or may not have refused to give me my change until I did so.

{ 1 comment }

The Adviser June 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm

This was great. $20 seems so expensive for cutting their hair don't you think. 1,2,3 and it's over. Check out my post on history of the veil. Very interesting.

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