Just Call Me Donna Reed

March 13, 2010

in How to Diet in Reverse

In my husband’s version of heaven, we would live on spaghetti and tacos.  His ideal wife would cook these dishes in the kinds of pots you only find in public school cafeterias.  Or the Army.  She would happily make, and eat, spaghetti for an entire month, then chicken tacos for the next.  And she would probably do it all while wearing heels and a perfectly clean apron.

Unfortunately for the Big man, he married me instead of Donna Reed.  And I?  Do not cook in heels.  Or an apron.  Oh, and I also prefer not to test the limits of how much spaghetti sauce I can consume before my skin turns red.  Call me a rebel, but I occasionally like to cook something new, or just different.

And so, when I made the mistake (yet again) of asking the Big Man what he would like me to make for dinner next (why did I even bother?), and was once again reminded of what a steadfast stud I married (and by steadfast stud, I mean gastronomically boring stud), I proposed a little project instead.

“What would you think if I said I wasn’t going to cook the same thing twice for an entire year?”

“I think you’d be making a hell of a lot of spaghetti all at once!”

Unfortunately for me, I decided to forget that conversation actually happened out loud. The first few experiments went well.  There was the Festive Pork Loin that was Delicious, and the Semi-Homemade Tomato & Tortellini soup that was full of cheesy goodness.

And then came the Gorgonzolla Penne Pasta.

It was like opening wide, and pouring an entire bottle of Bleu Cheese dressing straight into your mouth.  Which, apparently, is what I should have expected.  Except, my bad, I missed the memo explaining that Gorgonzolla is actually Bleu Cheese.  I just assumed that if they had meant Bleu Cheese, they would have called it Bleu Cheese Penne Pasta.  Since when does Bleu Cheese have a secret identity?

Don’t get me wrong – I love Bleu Cheese.  In small doses.  Very small.  On the end of a very small stick of celery.  Just one.  Eaten amidst a heart-stopping pile of chicken wings.  NOT, apparently, as a pasta sauce.

But, as you well know, we do not waste food in this house.  Which means I have at least another week of eating Bleu Cheese Gorgonzolla NASTY Penne Pasta.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to apologize to my breast-feeding son.  And to make a pot of spaghetti.


The Hubby Diaries October 26, 2010 at 2:02 pm

I've just stumbled on your blog today and I love it! I too am trying to figure out (daily) how to live with my wonderful husband (and I use that word wonderful, with the tiniest bit of sarcasm).

This post made me laugh because I recently wrote about how my hubby can eat the same foods over and over and over and over… ok, you get the point! As someone who likes variety in my life I'm forever baffled by this one!

Here's a link to that post if you'd like to check it out.


I'll keep reading!

the checkout girl March 18, 2010 at 3:09 am

If you could master spaghetti tacos, I would marry you.

Nicole March 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm

LOL, guess What?! You won!!! Get back to me with your mailing address and you can start using those pretty bowls!!! I'm so excited for you that I'm going to email you too. Thanks for playing and I look forward to seeing you more over at sanity check.


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