Momma Needs A Time Out

December 6, 2011

in How to be a Housewife, Mommy-ville Detour

In less than a fortnight, the Little Man will be Two.

Now, on any other blog this would be where I post about how amazing he is.  How I’m astounded at how quickly he’s developed this past year.  From a non-verbal baby who balanced on one knee while propelling himself around the room with the other foot rather than actually crawling, to a real live, walking, talking little boy.  One who falls down the stairs.  And up the stairs.  And runs into walls at full speed every. single. day.  Sober.

On any other blog, I’d be writing about how he’s so smart, its scary sometimes.  How he can count to 10.  And says “Please,” “Thank You,” “Your Welcome,” “Excuse Me,” and “Bless You” appropriately.  Mostly.  And THEN I’d start bragging.

But we all know I’m not that kind of a blog…

So the Little Man is turning Two.  The age I’ve been dreading since he was in utero.  When I should have been worrying about four months of colic and hunger strikes, I?  Was freaking out about how to lovingly parent a rebellious toddler.  Not to mention a rebellious teenager.  But we’ll save that for another post.

But two years and 7 months ago, I?  Was desperately trying to discover, exactly, how to impose my will and boundaries upon another human being.  You’d think marriage would have prepared me for that…but let’s just say that in this relationship?  The Big Man is much more adept in that arena.  Or so I like to let him think.

But the Big Man told me not to worry about that.  I’d have a full 24months to figure it out.  The little old lady at the grocery store told me to just cherish these moments.  Parenting for Dummies told me love will find a way.  And the internet said to just drink some more wine and it would all be ok.

So that’s what I did.  Immediately after I stashed the stack of parenting books Amazon delivered under my end table – the better to dust them each week.

And now?  HE’S TWO.

And when lovingly given the option between putting away his blocks, or sitting in time out while I put away ALL of his toys for the next two days?  He cheerfully chose time out.  Cheerfully.  No wimpering.  Or arguing.  In fact, he suggested it at the first syllable of “Please put your toys away.”

So now?  I have a two year old to entertain for the next two days.  Without any toys.

TWO. DAYS.

I’m going to need more wine.

{ 6 comments }

Marcie January 9, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I think we need to read this book my sister-in-law raves about…
“Naptime Is the New Happy Hour: And Other Ways Toddlers Turn Your Life Upside Down”

Audrey December 10, 2011 at 11:59 am

I have no idea what to do with it….. Just like I can’t figure out what to do with a kid who sits in time out for hitting (or whatever) only to get out of time out and do it again….. sigh

Audrey December 9, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Oh dear lord it sounds like my son! and he’s not quite 2 yet! UGH!
Enjoy your wine! Have a little for me too!

Domesticated Gal December 9, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only one! What do you do with a kid who doesn’t mind time out???

nsc December 7, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Dude, I’m scared shitless of my baby turning 2. If her facial expressions are any indication, I am in SERIOUS trouble.

I have faith in you, blaze the way!!

Happy birthday Little Man!

Domesticated Gal December 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I think you’ve got a while. I’d advise using it to stock up on chocolate. LOTS and LOTS of chocolate.

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