Open Mouth, Insert Soap

May 31, 2010

in How to be a Housewife

You know what I miss?  (Other than sleeping a full 8hours straight, eating an uninterrupted meal, drool-less clothes/furniture/carpets, reading an entire book chapter page in one sitting…Wait, where was I?

Oh, Right.  What I miss….

I miss cursing.  Good old, blood-pressure lowering, therapeutic cursing.

Not that I curse all that much.  Nor did I use to.  I’d certainly never be mistaken for a sailor.  But sometimes?  “Shoot” and “Darn” just don’t quite get the job done.

But now that the Little Man has actually begun appearing to pay attention when the Big man and I speak, it won’t be long before he begins to understand what we’re actually saying.  Or at least copying it.  And while I’m sure it would make a HILARIOUS story if his first words were “Cheap Bastard,” that isn’t exactly something I can put in the baby book.

So we are doing our best to cut out the less-than-repeatable language.  And I? Never knew HOW many words fall into that category.  Of course there are the old standards, but then there are those that I’m only mildly uncomfortable using in front of my grandparents – like “suck.”  And I’m sad to say it seems to be a staple of my vocabulary some days.  And while it is something you’d hear on Disney after 8pm, I’m not sure if its one that will get me called into yet another parent-teacher conference in the future.  And as I’m pretty sure there are a lot of those in my future, I’d rather not add to their numbers.

And so, much like my dangly earrings and pretty necklaces/clothes/baubles/life, “suck,” “darn,” and the majority of the German I remember from college are being packed away for use after the Little Man grows up.  Or at least hits middle school.  

(I mean, really, who can live with a middle schooler without a few curse words?  From either side.)


Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him June 1, 2010 at 8:53 pm

I'd keep the German…that's just too cool to abandon. Plus, everyone knows that if you curse in a foreign language, it doesn't really count.

Jen June 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Don't pack them up to tightly, you will be pulling them out now and again for special occasions and eventually the little one will understand that some things mommy says shouldn't be repeated, especially at school. Kids are smart, they know what they can and can not say.

"As We Speak" June 1, 2010 at 1:18 am

I have yet to meet a more conscientious Mom!
You are off to a "Stellar Start!" Don't worry
so much…your little one is very lucky to have
a Mommy like You!

Domesticated Gal June 1, 2010 at 12:53 am

I'm not so much a traffic curser (although I DO talk to the other cars), but every time I stub my toe every single curse word I've ever known runs through my head…and considering my great inherent grace, that happens at least once a day!

WTH am I Doing? June 1, 2010 at 12:04 am

I feel you on this one. I'm not a "golly gee" kind of mom. I've always been the inappropriate swearing metal chick…that had a kid. I've managed to cut out most of the most colorful language, but the boy commutes with me & I only have so much control. So far, all we've had is a couple of Goddammits, and truly, if that's the worst he's picked up from me, I'm fine with that. I just tell him those are grown-up words he shouldn't use yet. It works, for now…

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