Potty Training Try Outs

January 16, 2012

in I Learn the Lessons So You Don't Have To, Mommy-ville Detour

There are a lot of things I didn’t think through before embarking on this whole “having children” thing. Like how much I hate coming into contact with other people’s bodily fluids. (Hint: Almost as much as I hate coming into contact with my own...) Or that I lack, among other things, a degree in early child development. Or that its been quite a while since I had to figure out things like, oh, I don’t know, how to hold one’s pee until one has reached the appropriate receptacle for it. It’s been at least 9 years since I had to explain That one.

Sadly, I am not joking.

Had I thought that last one through? I’d probably be vacationing on a beach somewhere, content in the knowledge that should I choose to sunbathe topless, a roving photographer for National Geographic would not be mistaking me for their next native cover model.

And yet, here we are. Dead of winter. In Maine. Potty Training.

I should send that last line to Steven King. You know, in case he’s hit writer’s block for his next scare-your-pants-off novel.

Well. Almost.

We’re inching our way To potty training. Which, to be fair, we have been for the past…7 months. But the first time the Little Man showed any interest in not sitting in a dirty, dirty diaper was right about the time we brought the Little Miss home from the hospital. And moved half way across the country.

And as much as I admired his inclinations towards sanitation, then? Was just NOT a good time.

But I was afraid of missing THE WINDOW. You know the one – if you miss it, you will be changing your child’s dirty diapers until the army finally resumes the draft and takes over. Or at least that’s what the Internet said.

So as soon as we had unpacked enough boxes to make room for more, I called up Amazon and went to work. We got potty chairS. And new potty toilet coverS. And potty bookS for him. And potty bookS for me. And a portable potty seat thingy. And a training pant. But just one. I don’t remember why, but it must have made sense at the time.

And just about the time I was ready to wade in to potty training, the Little Man? Decided perhaps he had a good thing going with the whole make-Mommy-wipe-my-butt-for-me thing.

And so we waited.

And waited.

And then! He showed interest again! For like a week. Specifically, the week before we embarked on our 3-week tour of the upper East Coast. And since it was not on My itinerary to hit more than one toilet per state? We waited.

Until this week. When I finally finished reading at least one of the potty books. And decided it was time. I laid out our approach with the Big Man, and went to bed dreaming of 30less diapers to wash. The next morning, I gleefully announced to the Little Man that it was POTTY TIME! YAY!!

At which point, he totally and completely Freaked.

And not in the YAY!! IT’S POTTY TIME! way. More in the OMG – DON’T PUT ME ON THE SUCKING POT OF DEATH, DON’T YOU LOVE ME AT ALL, WOMAN??? way.

YAY!???!

{ 11 comments }

Marcie January 22, 2012 at 10:54 pm

What an adventure! I’m curious, did you decide to try the cloth diapers without inserts as a transition to underpants? What’s the verdict?

Audrey January 19, 2012 at 7:24 pm

ugh! So NOT looking forward to potty training. We decided to wait until after the baby arrives, no point in teaching him only to have him regress (or so i’ve heard?!)

Domesticated Gal January 19, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Makes sense to me! The Little Man def. regressed in some new behaviors right after the Little Miss…at least they didn’t involve poo

Jessie Powell January 19, 2012 at 3:14 pm

OK, this is gross, but I think you’ll appreciate it. (I am visiting from If this is motherhood, BTW). Caroline spoiled us, potty training easily before she hit two. Sam? Yeah. He’s four now, and it was LAST AUGUST before he got the hang of this whole thing. He had been Pee trained since last October, which meant he refused pullups. Which meant every time he took a crap, he HID FOR ME. For nearly a year. We called it hide-n-go-shit. It was the most disgusting poop on the planet. Here’s hoping your little guy realizes the sucking pot of death makes great flushing noises (but is a horrible place to put toys and stuff) before he graduates high school.

Domesticated Gal January 19, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Oh gawd, I can’t stop laughing….

Bella January 19, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Good luck! I hated potty training, but I have two boys and my oldest was the HARDEST. BTW, you’ve won an award. Stop by http://www.ifthisismotherhood.com to pick it up!

Domesticated Gal January 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Two boys. Oh my. That is a lot of pee. So what’s the secret???

Bella January 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Hmm, LUCK? LOL. The best advice I can give, is don’t push it. I told The Gremlin (just turned 4) that he gets a “Big Boy Badge” when he was potty trained completely. He worked for it. Don’t know if that would work for you, but we had a little celebration. Just don’t offer candy rewards for successful potty lol. The Gremlin got proficient at using the potty, then started peeing just a little, to get a pop and went back and finished to get another one LMAO. Smart kids.

NSC January 19, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I am so dreading the potty training, but mostly because DH has never been trained to leave the seat down, so the fears of falling in – totally justified for my poor lil girl.

However,

Someday I intend to toilet train the cat, and that I am TOTALLY looking forward to. How awesome would that be?? Kids diapers < Litter Box stench.

Domesticated Gal January 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Don’t you just wish there were someone to hire to potty train your kid for you?

Maggy January 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I can’t wait to hear how this adventure goes!

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