The Rest of The Story…

May 18, 2010

in I Learn the Lessons So You Don't Have To

Remember THIS?  White Pants?  ON A FARM??  Well here’s “The Rest of The Story…”
(Paul Harvey?  Anyone?  No?  Just Me? Ok then…)
First, this wasn’t even a job I had applied for.  I’d actually submitted my resume for a data entry position (Menial? Perhaps.  But oh-so-satisfying for the Nerd in me.  The one that mourns my current lack of filing needs.  And trips to Staples.)
So when Ms. HR calls up and starts asking me about my event planning experience, I’m a bit confused.  
Didn’t I apply for a job hunkering down in Cubicle land?  What role does my ability to create gardens out of construction zones and bend state liquor laws have to do with accurately formatting spreadsheets?  Wait? Which company is this?  Maybe I’m wrong.  Although I don’t remember applying to ANY event planning jobs.  Since I live in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.  And NO ONE wants to hold an event here.  Perhaps I applied during a 2am feeding?  Those are often a bit fuzzy.  Which is why I recently made sure to uninstall the “auto-pay” part of Amazon… Better play it cool.

So I continue to answer her questions, selling her on how dedicated, innovative, and personable I am.  
Fortunately she didn’t ask about my abilities to multi-task, since the first example that popped in my head would be my ability to answer her questions while simultaneously changing and breastfeeding my child. 
Thirty minutes later, she finally reveals that YES, I DID apply for a data entry position – but she has been secretly screening me for an event planning position that just opened up!  Since I managed to answer everything correctly, she’d like to set up an interview for the next week.
Of course, immediately after hanging up the phone I realize I have NO CLUE what this position entails.
No biggie, I’ll just look it up online where I found the last posting…
Huh, definitely not there.  At all.  Maybe by “event planner” she really meant “customer service rep”?  Irregardless, I spend the entire weekend researching the company and all possible branches involving event planning.  (And by entire weekend, I mean the night before.  Because I?  Rock at hitting deadlines.  But not until the last possible moment.)
So, the day of the interview comes, and I make my grand entrance at the Farm.  In White Pants.  I manage to distinguish the Farmhouse from the Barn (not as easy as you would think), and fill out an application while I wait for Ms. HR to become available.
Turns out?  Ms. HR is the same woman who just spent five minutes laughing at watching me as I ecstatically found a parking spot closest to the building, realized it was the owner’s spot, considered my options, and spent the next five minutes circling the lot trying to find a spot other than the one in the middle of the big mud hole.  You’d think, when I said hi to her in passing on my way to the front office, that she’d have realized that the Only girl on the entire Farm wandering around in WHITE PANTS may, just may, have been her interviewee.
After answering some of the same questions she asked me in the phone screen, she then leads me into a conference room.  Where she announces that I’ll be interviewing with B. & L.  And then promptly runs away.
Who are B. & L.?
Why, they would be THE OWNERS.
That’s right.  I’m meeting with the owners.  For a job I know nothing about.  On a farm.  In WHITE PANTS.
Their first question?  What, exactly, interested me about the position I was interviewing for.


Melissa May 19, 2010 at 2:17 am

You certainly have a way with story telling, my dear. :) Thanks for the laugh.

I am about to throw myself back into this interviewing/ job search deal. meh. Fortunately, no more night feedings, so my tits are getting smaller and not as painful! Woot!

Domesticated Gal May 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Fortunately I'm a pro at the old "Fake It Till Ya Make It" routine – and dazzled them with my southern charm (amazing how that works so much better out here where my accent is the anomaly rather than the norm).

But the fact that I offered (and was prepared) to whip out the photos of my Little Man that I had tucked in behind the copies of my resume may have tipped them off to the fact that I'm no longer up for midnight bridge painting extravaganzas…

So I? Am still freelancing as a SAHM…80hrs a week, including nightly midnight feeding extravaganzas

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him May 18, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Oh yikes, that sounds scary. Interviews make me sweat, even when they're other people's interviews. Yeah, how'd it go? PS – I do event planning for a living (unfortunately) so if you ever need any catchy words like "turn-key solutions" and "generate buzz and excitement" I'm your go-to gal.

Complicated Mama May 18, 2010 at 11:51 am

Sounds like a story that would only happen to me.

… so… how did the interview go? 😉

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