Limping Towards Maturity (UPDATED!!)

July 5, 2012

in How to be a Housewife, I Learn the Lessons So You Don't Have To, Running In Place

At this very moment, my teenage self is strapping on her big girl heels, popping a piece of Grape Bubblicious in time to TLC’s Scrubs, and rolling her eyes at me.

That is,of course, assuming that she’s even still speaking to me.

Which is a big if.

Because today, I did the unthinkable.

I ordered a pair of flats.

No. Not a pair of cool uptown London apartments…

A pair of flats.

And not just any flats. No heel, cushion soled, recommended by your grandmother’s bunions flats. The kind I imagine tall girls buy when they don’t want to intimidate their dates.


It feels almost sacrilegious.

And yet so damn comfortable.

I know.


Those extra two inches of height? That boost to the gams and gluts? That feeling of power as your heels click down the hallway likes so many warning shots?

It was nice while it lasted.

But now I’m old.

And lame.

And now that I’m hobbling through the grocery store looking like I left my cane at home, all I want is to do so in comfort. Or at least as much comfort as possible when your toddler is repeatedly kicking your tennis-ball-sized ankle as he helps drive the cart into the dairy display.

But the worst part of all this?

I had them rush-delivered.


UPDATED 4/6/12: THEY’RE HERE!! Now…the only question is, which pair(s) do I keep????

Click the Picture. Or the Link above it. Or HERE to vote…Don’t leave a girl with two different shoes on just hanging!

{ 1 comment }

Arlene Sallans July 6, 2012 at 9:10 am

And what a cute pair of flats!

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