A Truce. Of Sorts.

August 4, 2011

in Mother Nature's A B****

If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, you may want to.  Otherwise today’s post will make even less sense than normal.  Although if you’re normally a regular around here but were hit by a house yesterday and thus couldn’t immediately read my brilliance the minute it was posted, you may just be immune to the crazy and can proceed onward regardless….


Yesterday?  I mentioned how I have a bit of a … dislike… for spiders.  As in, drop one on me and I will Kill you.  As soon as I stop hyperventilating.  And figure out how to go still as a statue so as not to induce the spider to bite me while simultaneously convulsing in an effort to fling said spider from my person so that the Big Man can swoop in and save me from it with one well placed stomp of his shining boot.

That being said, I am not completely irrational.  In fact, Nature and I actually have quite the amicable truce going on.  If she stops sending her eight-legged minions into my domain, I’ll stop squashing them.

Inside my house?  They are dust.
Outside? I’ll quietly shuffle by so as not to disturb them as they plot how to get Inside.

Unless they drop onto me.  Or my kids.  Then?  All bets are off.

This truce works quite well, actually.  I can stay holed up inside my house with a can of Raid and my Kindle, and Nature can stay outside with her spiders and webs.  Everyone’s happy.

Until I have to leave the house.

At which point, I get in my car.  Which is also covered under the truce.

Until yesterday.

When I got in my car, put it into reverse, and looked out the side-view mirror.

Which?  Is when I met Charlotte:

Apparently Charlotte shares the Big Man’s theory that cameras steal your soul.  Or just doesn’t feel she’s photogenic enough for a candid shot.  We’ll keep trying.  
But, if my memory serves me right, I believe she looked something like this:                               

Or possibly this:

You get the picture.

Mother Nature?  It is ON.


Mariah August 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I hate spiders too! I hate the feeling of walking into a cobweb early in the morning, then squealing and hopping around begins because there is a possibility a spider may be on me!

Lissa August 5, 2011 at 9:23 am

Ugh, you are so evil. You need to put some kind of warning up when you post icky pictures.
I once drove my car for 20 minutes with a hunstman clinging to my side-view mirror. I was terrified.

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