When I Grow Up, I Want To Be An Outdoor Girl

July 14, 2010

in Mommy-ville Detour, Mother Nature's A B****

Growing up, we were not what you would call an “outdoor” family.  Sure, we had a backyard.  And sure, there was a pretty rockin’ swing-set in it.  But once I got big enough to question the swing-set’s ability to remain planted firmly in the ground while launching me into the neighbor’s yard, it mostly became a place to gaze upon while tanning on the deck.  Or reading a book.  Inside.

Even our cats were indoor pets.  Sure, they would make an escape attempt every few years or so.  But that was more for the principle of it.  If they actually managed to make it out the front door, they never made it farther than the front stoop.  Mostly because they were so surprised at actually being outdoors that they had no clue what came next.
And while I was, technically, a Girl Scout for eleven years, there was not much “outdoors” involved in my Girl Scout activities either.  Probably because most of my troops were lead by my mother.  And my mother’s idea of camping?  Is Motel 6.  So sure, we earned a ton of patches in bead-making, sewing, and cooking – our “Future Housewives of America” curriculum lacked a certain survival element.  Throw me into a room full of diplomats and I can correctly set a table setting that has more forks than you have fingers.  Set me down in the middle of a field?  You’ll find me sitting right where you left me three days ago.  Surrounded by daisy chains.
Suffice it to say, I am not what you would call an “Outdoor” Girl.
At least not yet.
I AM the mother of the Little Man.  Who, it turns out, is a BOY.  And while I do not subscribe to the theory that boy’s can’t make daisy chains, I do feel that they should probably be able to find their way out of a daisy field.  Or at least keep warm by a decent campfire while they make their daisy chains.  
(Yes, yes, my inner feminist is screaming at me too.  And yes, were the Little Man, in fact, a girl, I’d probably be following the same path.  But, whatever, P.C. jokes just aren’t funny….)
So while the Big Man went on a two week business trip, I packed up the Little Man and headed off to my grandma’s.  Who lives in a cabin.  On a lake.  In the middle of the woods.  On a mountain.
You can’t get much more outdoors than that.
(Sure, there was running water.  Hot & Cold.  And electricity.  And wireless internet.  BUT THERE WAS ALSO OUTDOORS.  EVERYWHERE!)

And for two weeks, the woman who has been a Girl Scout longer than Juliette Lowe, taught me and the Little Man how to be outdoorsy.
True, we didn’t get much farther than a pie-tin dinner cooked on a campfire.  That my cousin made.  While we watched.  
WE WENT IN THE LAKE!  Without water shoes!
Which, if you’ve ever been in a lake, at least that lake, you know is a big deal.  Since the entire bottom of it consists of slimy, sucking mud.  Except when you step in a fish bed.  
And I?
Didn’t squeal once.
At least not out loud.


Domesticated Gal July 16, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Argh….been trying to start my comment laughing some way other than "lol" and can't think of anything that doesn't sound equally dumb. Let's just say I'm laughing with delight at ya'll's comments…

And yes, I did have wi-fi…not that I made a lot of use of it. Other than to watch episodes of Glee…

Poppy July 16, 2010 at 3:30 am

You had wi-fi?!? I've missed you.

On my honor, I will try, not to sneak out of girl scout camp and order a pizza when we are being taught how to make hungarian goulash in reynolds wrap packets.

I'm with you and glad you had fun on your adventure. Welcome back.

The Empress July 14, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I HATE muck, and murck, and sledge, and silt…cannot stand it in between my toes.

txrosejames July 14, 2010 at 1:18 pm

I have a little boy, too, and my hubby is Soooooo much a city boy. I worry about who will teach him to hunt! I'd like to have a boy who could bring home the venison and know how to cook it over a campfire. I could learn the camp cooking bit, but I suspect that you can't learn how to hunt from books. So what man am I going to rope in to that?!

Lyndsay July 14, 2010 at 3:10 am

Ick, I hate swimming in lakes. I, myself, am a pretty outdoorsy girl, but I absolutely cannot stand swimming in lakes…too slimy & too many fish!

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